"We are all enlisted..." and "Happy Are We!"

We had a lovely and surprising event of sharing our basement with Jake's family. It lasted a while and we enjoyed it immensely. We still miss them and the kids. They helped us, and we helped them, and it was something we never could have pictured enjoying as much as we did.

They were blessed with finding a home up the hill, and we don't have them in our lives nearly often enough now.

Mark and Dana came once from Hawaii, with their 2 week old Ellie (Eleanor Mei). They job hunted and moved on to join Dave and Joel in CA. La Habra was their home until they were enticed back to Utah for a different job. Since then they added Soapie (Sophie Marie) who turned 3 on June 14th. Then in November they added Audrey Royal, named for her birth coinciding with the World Series win of 2015.

Chris moved home in December 2014 and fell in love and married in August vacating the balcony room just in time for Cecily and her new student husband Spencer (Shumway) to take up the room and the social slack. We were so glad they were back for a bit. We never got to Provo enough to see them! Now thanks to a job near the "U" and student teaching in West Jordan we got them here!

We are blessed and thrilled with the comings and goings. We have enough and to spare, and hope to share the blessings when we can. A pit stop-off for family and friends from all over.

Kai and many his family were here over the summer of 2016 dancing Ballet for summer camps. Uncle Bruce and Sara visited, and she even grabbed a couple of nights on a weekend.

Dana and Mark have had their share of sharing as well. With family from Kansas and Hawaii, and Illinois and times full of friends and surprises.  Moving one of these months soon to a place of their own in Herriman, oh how we will miss them.

I love the ability to open our home those those we can aid and it never ceases to bless us.

Let's Give the Girls a Chance

I know I have Grandmothers'. Great ones I love, remember and cherish. Also some I never knew. Because of their effort to leave their life's story, I know they loved me and decades later teach me by example.
They each have 'great' names, some are back in fashion like; Margaret Isabelle and Mary Eliza.
Others haven't made it all the way back yet, such as Lucy Vail and Wilhelmina Lavina. Yet these are the ones that wrote "stuff" and I'm blessed more than I can express by their writing.

Ever since hearing inspiring words from our Stake and General Conferences, and the Spirit, it is the latter two I have on my mind and carry a part of them with me.
We were counseled to "try to navigate around the 'FamilySearch' site", and I did enough to unearth some new family stories for myself, and now to share with our ever increasing collection of granddaughters.

 Previously I have loved them, my ancestors, and the diligence and dedication of these who wrote down their lives.

We have in our possession a few marvelous accounts, one includes traveling on horseback to what is now "Yellowstone National Park". These accounts are written and described by relatives, detailing supplies bought, tours given, and adventuring into undeveloped back-country. We have the records of the beauty, the terrain, even including fish caught, and animals viewed and miles traveled. Trail conditions and weather.

And until I got older not many of these travelogues held my interest, at least not as much as they might. I'll just state they didn't enter my heart like these new ones, these new-found histories and accounts have. As a woman, these had a perspective from which I can relate.

Thanks to FamilySearch, some have been published recently, even some in their own hand writing. And because of these I now know about these young girls, my Grandmothers. Their treks, travails, and trials, their making mad dashes, and even moving away from the "wicked mobs".

Seen from their point of view a part of what they saw and what they did, I give thanks to something as simple as a saved and preserved notebook.

While enjoying details like; what her friends called her and thought of her religion tells me about some of the persecution of her day. Writing what 'characteristics' she wanted in a husband,  (asking the future reader to allow her that "extravagance"), and surmising that someday her children would want to know, 'did she have any beaux?' Her written interests, talents, chores, and clothing details are fascinating!

One's excellent penmanship and use of language, makes it extra fun and caused me to search a dictionary.
Reading with empathy of the death of a 2 year-old brother, described as "the pet"of the family and her explanation of the crude casket made from a hollowed out log her father crafted and carved with a lid. And her describing the final fitting of "the little treasure" in it for the burial/resting place brought tears.

They spoke of finding "love" and their companions, with humor and admiration just as we might.
I've read of a beloved husband 'taking a second wife', written with only a sentence, when I know from family group sheets this was a younger sister. Her brevity here said volumes, but what? How I wish for more...

I've also read on the family search site a few less than accurate random accounts from well meaning 'relatives', who likely haven't read these pages left by the life's author.

For their facts in their own words, I am grateful and moved. Thank you Grandmas Lucy and Wilhelmina!
 So MUCH Speculation, guesstimate, summation, surmising and presumption are removed.

A am lucky enough to have a meaningful metaphor most girls only retain in their memory. This comes from a young girl's diary account of hiding out in Holland, her city Amsterdam and seeing Anne Frank's home on a self-guided tour. My experience in going through it was almost hallowed and sacred, like a 'temple experience'. Feeling such depth of emotion, and then in the final room seeing her aged father, Otto Frank, who survived her, saying poignantly and almost prophetically, he never realized what she was going through or feeling. All this about her, "he too learned too late", from the little red and white journal she kept. She had extracted a promise from him as he locked it up each night for her, he would never read it. Finally, posthumously,  he did read, and later allowed it to be published. His generous sharing has given the world a legacy of the human spirit and insight into some dark days in human history. Her slice of time, though brief, gives volumes of context to the reader.

Similarly my grandmothers journal writings, have caused them to become real for me, and  promise  some suspended anticipation in an inkling of meeting.

They left me and other readers their footprint of living and loving, by them composing a legacy of 'enduring it well'.

Now when I 'make homemade soup' from packages of 'store bought' cut-up frozen vegetables, I  see and remember them lighting fires to cook, and wash, cut, and chop.  And kill and skin.
When my pantry is low, and I need to go shopping I see the days when they had nothing to eat but bread. Working with brothers to clear and hoe and plant... possessing no shoes, let alone work gloves!
Their mother's, often ill or gone, continual care of the family fell to them. They gathered, washed wool, carded and wove what they wore.

They did not have 'confidence' as the world teaches, but in using Faith and Strength their circumstances created opportunities for them to be proved.  They each received abundance from lives filled with very similar trials. And some we also face.

Income, housing, resources, relocation, illness, death, and the ravages of war, along with a host of other challenges did not distract them from their testimony of the Lord and Savior and the blessings of the Restored Gospel.

I will build skills like them; try new and hard things, do that which I find distasteful, pitch in, help out, and be a sister to those in need. I still have a chance, and if they could do it, so can I!

 And looming larger and greater is what I have felt from the significance of leaving written history.  "Let's Hear It for the Girls!" Let's give the girls the chance.... by doing likewise.

Writing Blesses

Writing Blesses.

Few outlets are as therapeutic as getting life happenings on paper.

Oh that I was a typing wiz...

For years my older sister has filled journals with what life is all about from her perspective.

After reading my relatives written words these have come to be so important to me. I long to do likewise, and be a blessing to my posterity by leaving my life's experience from my female 'voice' and point of view.

Realizing this desire, which is strongly haunting, I am still weak in ways that I wish I were not. These 'other authors' inspire me and echo within their own writings to leave something written, so future generations can 'know from whence they came' and feel some kinship.

My mind is prompted, my spirit driven, and still I shrink, "not knowing beforehand the things that I should do".... and like the predecessor's of Nephi, I am slow of skill and have not the fleet fingers of so many others, but experience the "awkwardness of hands".

I hope to not be mocked and worse.  As Ether states, "wherefore, when we write we behold our weakness, and stumble because of the placing of our words; and I fear lest the gentiles shall mock at our words".

Yes, I live with 'gracious' critics. And I am sadly fragile here. Still I am emboldened by these words, "For the things which some men esteem to be of great worth, both to the body and soul, others set at naught and trample under their feet".

Oh well.
I will write...

Flyin' High this December

I was astounded, the principle of contrast could not have been more profound if we'd been doing stealth market research. This was our final flight of the week. She didn't need to be so nice, about now I was used the the lack-luster bustle. Yet she was. Her name is Jill.

As an older women traveling with my husband, you feel your importance waning. No long svelt and sparkling, your goal is be efficient and stay under the radar of neediness.
Due to the overhead space and seating choices he and I were separated from the start of a almost five hour flight, the 2nd week in December. Oh well, not uncommon for us.

It was truly her smile and pleasant kindness on the fourth Southwest flight and my experience that so caught my attention.  She promised that after the aircraft stabilized she'd bring me my oversized purse from rows back behind me, where she politely had stored it. And she remembered! So I asked her name.

Please know I'm an average traveler, pleasant enough, but prefer not to be overly communicative. If my seat mate wants to, I'll talk, but I typically let it be their choice, I love the quiet and rest.

Here was Jill again, the countenance delight, repeatedly honoring my requests. My seat mate never spoke more than a few words to her or I, having a spare seat between us. So I took notice of her working from my seat, greeting passengers as if we were all important persons, and I found myself reflecting on the previous 3 experiences this week.

I'm old enough to remember when being a "steward/stewardess" meant something special. Sweet Jill seemed to get that old style service. It was nice, with warmth, and sincere. Her beverage service and 'snack' passing, was more in the "old tradition", and not just a job, and I reminisced on my initial flight over 50 years ago.

Jill even brought that on, calling me "young lady" once,  and causing me to reflect on kinder days when people looked you in the eyes and cared.

Thank you Jill! GREAT JOB! And have a Merry Christmas Southwest!

Good Times from the Grands!

Magic moments are not the way I'd describe these 'incidents' of what I think can not adequately be defined with our limited language. These Fabulously-funny moments (thanks to witty daughters, sons and in-laws), never written and are now but remembered in a blurred feeling of delight coupled with Joy.
Here are some recent example of what I mean.

I don't want to lose these recent ones.... hence....Blog...
Please feel free to add some of yours in the comments!

I have lately began to collect these and hope you'll find a better "name" for what I think are very memorable occurance's. Laughable? Yes! But something else as well. So many of these have occurred over the years, but since I'm forgetting more these days I decided to write the latest ones to 'Preserve' them.

When I went to L.A. to be with Lisa, Dave, and Isla and get to know Forrest. I had so much fun. It was good for me in many ways, waking up in Isla's room, she never quite got over my intruding, though I tried hard. Forrest and I had some special moments. Besides helping in all ways I could think of, including trying new recipes, (thanks Lisa) odd jobs, and staying around so you'd get some freedom out and away. Memories of two silly things are still my highlights from the trip.

First, one night when Dave came home, Isla was watching a movie with me and pretty much having an ignore me/us moment. Dave kept talking to her and she continued to ignore us both while she layed on the outer edge of the couch.. As she ignored, he'd pester her to pay attention, or listen by bumping her body which was very close to falling off. Finally as the last straw, he gently bumped her off the edge. But the Joke was on us. After a fall of about 10 inches she layed perfectly still, not moving a particle of her body as if she had died! Totally surprised by her inaction, he ruffled at her  "parlyized corpse" with his foot, but nothing, she layed totally lifeless. We cracked up as she continued the drama,  far beyond reason for effect, it was one of the funniest moments from a two year old I can recall.

My second best memory of the trip was her pouting and ignoring us as we tried to get her to come out of her trance watching TV.  I started to dance using my arms and legs in place and sing "The Merry Little Working Song" from Enchanted, she glanced toward me and without taking another breath she suddenly let out a very-long piercing scream, reminiscent of torture, shocking us, so much we became hysterical once again at her skill-set of drama.

Two recent ones that come to the forefront of fun making was talking with the girls from Millville about their impending "American Girl Party", though not really in the conversation, grandpa started to sing a made up song to fit in. The lyrics were very impromptu, but cracked the girls and I up the rest of their visit. In fact we practiced them, so we wouldn't forget.

She's an American Girl, she's an American girl,
She's coming to your Town, she's gonna burn it down,
She's an American girl.

The girls and I laughed to think he would sing that about their sweet dolls, it really was funny!

Sweet Zona, from Taiwan, was here for the last time before flying home. Now embraced as family practically,  Steff wanted her to get to see our "young" family and we worked hard to find one particular bad boy photo of Jim. Finally we found some early pictures of me, and Jim's favorite. (The one he still carries in his wallet) After the girls seeing quick flashes through the hunting process,  and giving up, we slowed now on this one of me as they gathered round. Evelyn summed it up by smiling and remarking, "Oh..., and there's something about you/it that's just a little bit like Miss Piggy". For day's I've enjoyed  laughing such an honest impression. 


 

All Things Bright And Beautiful

"All things Bright and Beautiful" are the words that came to me concerning my spiritual feast in August.
I have feasted, yet again, at the experience of Education Week.
I had not availed myself of this opportunity for a couple of years. But plans to attend were planted in my heart early speaking with darling Sharlene, and then I mentally began "gave space" for attending , so when Gay called inviting me, it helped me exercise 'a particle of Faith',  believing that if I ventured the way would be opened. And it was!  The power and love of Heavenly Father fed me and reminded me I am of worth, infinite worth. A much needed lesson He granted me.

I had a great week, spiritual beyond any expectation, and filling, even to overflowing. (That sounds better than, I'm stuffed.)

On an evening while there I was able to visit with Joel,  I committed to him I would write on my blog the many "Questions" presented and posed during the week, using that socratic style that the Church is encouraging. His support for my posting was encouraged, and since we'd do practically anything for our kids.... here goes.

In the words of Brother Kevin J. Worthen, and by recording these here, it is my wish me and any reader will 'counsel' as in "take" these in, and 'counsel with', as in "receive" our individual 'whisperings' from the Lord in the what and how.  Thus attending growth toward ultimate redemption!

All readers here are invited to also; watch, read, study, seek and 'receive counsel' from whatever source as needed in answering.

Take pencil in hand and begin..... (one a week might be nice)

NOTE: These Questions appear in no specific order, only how they were found in my notes.) 

1. What is it that I have come here to change? 
2. Do my daily routines reflect what I claim to value?
3. Am I wearing my busy-ness as a badge of honor?
4. What are the 'good works' I am abounding in so that Christ can seal me His?
5. What leisurely activity can I replace with Temple service?
6. Am I preparing for the sacrament? How can I improve my worship?
7. What will I eliminate or alter?
8. How will it be different next week?
9. Can I identify negative behaviors I ritualize?
10. How can I repent and overcome these?
11. Identify how Satan works on me specifically.
12. Help me to visualize myself in the way I want to be.
13. How do we go to Gethsemane with our children?
14. Do I believe that He invites us to come to Him there and he will meet us?
15. How do we ritualize coming to Christ?
16. Do I really want to come?
17. What lies have I chosen to believe?
18. Do I have a lie I feed and nurture? What is the pay-off for believing the lie?
19. What are my weaknesses, and am I humble enough to make them strong?
20. Have I trained others to accommodate my poor behaviors?
21. How will Jesus help me feel I am enough?
22. How does the Atonement help with feelings of inadequacy?
23. What do I value and what does that look like?
24. Are my behaviors consistent with what I claim I value?
25. Will you help me to more fully live the Plan today?
26. And what will that look like?
27. Is there something I need to alter?
28. How do we keep moving forward?
29. Is there more I should know?
30. Will I look inside and ask myself: What can I do to improve?
31. Does Nephi really believe all he says?
32. What will people see in us that is "distinct and different in happy ways"?
33. Are we trying to keep up to "how everyone is looking"?
34. What is the motive, and are we feeding each other a lie?
35. Would I feel comfortable with my appearance if I was is the Lord's presence?
36. Do I spend some time everyday with the scriptures?
37. Am I practicing the above as a divine directive, not just a nice 'to do'?
38. Take an accountability of how I trust?
39. What am I doing to grow my testimony?
40. Do I expect my spouse to meet all of my emotional needs?
41. Can I think of a time when I showed patience?
42. Do I know my triggers? 
43. Can learn to, and be "mindful", so I can discourage my triggers?
44. Which commandment am I struggling with? Why is that?
45. Do I remember 'The Fall' was enormous, that 'we put aside crowns and robes' to come here?
46. Have I acknowledged parenting has given me front row seats to my own immaturity? And what is my commitment to change?
47. What did righteous Alma do for his son?
48. Have I recognized yet that having patience heals souls and unlocks treasures?
49. What would I like to be an expert in?
50. What are we selectively choosing to "not look at" in the Gospel, "because of the easiness of the way"?
51. Do I know how to sanctify myself? When will I start?
52. Will I maintain hope and remember it is never too late?

I was reminded God works with us in 'our process'... So it is with certainty He will bring me home, if I but do my part.
It is my prayer that I can answer and hearken to these great questions of the inspired instructors.

May we all yield our hearts to God, and allow others in our path to help us do so.

Coming and Going

We had the lovely and surprising event of sharing our basement with Jake's family. It lasted a while and we enjoyed it. We still miss them and the kids. They helped us, and we helped them and it was something we never could have pictured enjoying as much as we did.

They were blessed with finding a home up the hill and we don't have them in our lives nearly often enough now.

Mark and Dana came once from Hawaii, with their 2 week old Ellie (Eleanor Mei). They job hunted and moved on to join Dave and Joel in CA. La Habra was their home until they were enticed back to Utah for a different job. Since then they added Soapie (Sophie Marie) who turned 1 on June 14th. Now in November they'll add "Audrey" or so they call her so far.....

Chris moved home in December 2014 and fell in love and married in August vacating the balcony room just in time for Cecily and Spencer (Shumway) to take up the room and the slack. We're so glad they're back for a bit. We never get to Provo enough to see them! Now thanks to a job near the "U" and student teaching in West Jordan we get them here!

We are blessed and thrilled with the comings and goings. We have enough and to spare, and hope to share the blessings when we can.

Kai and many his family were here over the summer dancing Ballet for summer camps. Uncle Bruce and Sara visited, and she even grabbed a couple of nights this weekend.

Dana and Mark have had their share of sharing. With family and full of friends and surprises.

I love the ability to open our home those those we can aid and it never ceases to bless us.

A Day to SIng

Today begins another day to begin singing in choir again.

The choir and I have had a few months off. Since the summer for most of them. Since March 15th for me. That was the day of my accident on the way to practice.

Thanks to Heavenly Father and many prayers, I was miraculously healed from a bad fall from my bicycle.

Six months later we are ALL starting up again. I will sing praise to the Lord for his many blessings to me and for me. It's the least I can do for Him.

Last time I sang for Jim, now it's for someone far more deserving than even my choir president husband and my visiting teaching companion.
I sing not because I can, I sing in gratitude and desire to show I will do hard things I don't necessarily wish to, but for Him I'm willing.

Chris and Kristin Are Wed and Off

Timeless/Timely

This post serves as an additional reminder to me how life gets full to overflowing. My previous post was about Jake's birth 37 years ago, and now this one is about Chris's Marriage almost a year since that was posted.

Both eldest and youngest sons had big parts in the completion of our kids all married.

Chris found a wonderful girl in our stake to date right as he moved home from USU. Their meet-up and First date was about Dec 17th? At this moment I was down with jet-lag and then a bad cold when she first came around. Hardly said more than "Hi"or wave.
She was slowly introduced around the family by him, welcomed and fallen in love with, and near the end of April they were engaged.

By now this girl had fit right in and was the clear favorite over anyone he'd ever been interested and concerned over.

A perfect match; their humor and interests matched up well beyond what we might have hoped for.

Some of my first memories was her helping Dana handwash my hair on the great-room couch. She was a keeper from the start and he is one Lucky guy.

As an alternative sight from her house or ours, they spent lots of 'courting dates' at Jake's and being with his family.

And when the time came to set a date and make final plans; it was decided to hold the Wedding Luncheon in Jake and Amanda's backyard. August 1st. After Draper Temple we feated them from his beautiful backyard at 97 degrees!

We bid them goodbye to a camping/touring honeymoon, (thanks Spencer). And now they are off on an Asian "Adventure" to China, thanks to Jake and Steff and their family trips being so motivating.  Not to mention the testimony of Dana and Mark of romance in the Chinese mainland!

We hang on their every word or text these days across the miles, and know they are having an adventure Kristin has dreamed of, and Chris is predisposed to love twice as much!

HE Had Arrived.....

Thirty-seven years ago it happened! We had a complete set! Our family now was as equal as it would ever be again, so far.....
We had a BOY; and boy.... was that great!

I can still see Jim doing the "Rocky" cheer, the same one done at the top of the stairs in Philadelphia.

Our girl was so welcomed, but a boy made our Joy full.

It was something I had never witnessed, being from a all girl family. My poor Dad. Until then, I never imagined what he'd missed. I still have empathy for him not not get the completed set. I never saw or knew if he felt it. I never felt or noticed he was missing something.  Even when I got a microscope and a mitt at Christmas.

Jacob James was a wonderful bright light and spirit, entering earth life quickly as full Ackerman. He had the hands, toes, and nose to prove it! Attracting o-ohs and ah-hs most of his childhood, he was handsome, sensitive and affectionate, and had one problem...... "rookie" parents to raise him.

I still need his forgiveness for my erring ways, and am grateful he has overcome his upbringing (for the most part) and makes our family complete in all ways.

Thank You Son! You have taught us so much, and we still have a lot to learn from you!
Thanks for the thrilling ride, and vistas to come!

Can We Talk?

Well a multitude of seemingly senseless sensibilities are encroaching my determination to not write about this topic for fear of offending those that I wish to not offend. Yet the subject bears some serious discussion, and burns within me to have "its" voice.

I'm referencing with deference, the new and chosen technologies of communication these days. The Chiefly chosen and often preferred are cell phones and other hand held devices. Emailing and texting rather than speaking, and 'worse case', a voice mail message left. Also now popular are Instant messaging or twittering instead of real "heard" (audible) voices. This seems to rule the day and rock the age-long practice of speaking. To add to this [injury] making matters worse; coding and abbreviations abound with clever acronyms that are at times vulgar and lend themselves to improper English and cliches. Many which are flippant and most of which were forbidden years ago, when slang was discouraged as a form of communication because it was thought to represent lack of education and culture.

What do all these changes mean today? Have we progressed in intelligence and are we better communicators?

Suppose this:

I want to tell you I'd like to see you or 'take a meeting' together. Since you nor I have servants or secretaries, we are forced to consider other options. I can request an interface with you by "face time"ing your phone, in which case we could actually see one another speak or make the planned exchange.
But customarily I don't do that. I can leave a text message. Which is either a bit too short in content or explanation.  Or I leave pertinent details so it goes into several messages which are split up and then must be read in reverse order to glean the meaning of the 'message'.

I can leave a 'voice mail' message on your cell phone which must be screened, listened to, sometimes several times to hear it fully, and either right "now or later" the 'call' can be automatically re-dialed. IF I reach you and you answer, we speak, but otherwise it goes into the storage of your voice mail messages. Causing you at a pausing point, not now, to listen and then decide if you wish to 'delete' this, or choose to wait. Leaving it as a gentle reminder that we haven't spoken to each other yet. (And I may leave it on... for sometimes I just like the sound of your voice, what you said, and how it sounded... so I leave it.) Otherwise if I don't delete it, it's often because I'm too busy to do it and I'll get back to it later, when I have some time.

If you don't return dial me at once, my voice mail picks up your return of my call, so I may check my voice mail messages, my message machine, and even my email inbox multiple times to see if you have gotten my message and returned my call.

What happens to me generally at this point I decide I don't really want or have time to mess with this. Did I want to see you that much? Because this 'hassle' to plan our meeting has become too great for me to worry and waste all day wondering or checking if your return to my call has gone awry or straight to my voice mail because I was 'on a call', or heaven forbid my battery or signal was weak and the call was never put through for me to know.

But upon retrieving your call much later, via 'missed call', I wonder, did you hear my message? And if you did why didn't you reach me? Or I can't hear your message! And if you didn't hear, what happened to that call, was the signal dropped? Did my message even show up on your phone? OR Will it drop now, like in the commercial, just as we are about to make a commitment to meet up?

Such are the 'joys of our desiring' the dilemmas of our day!

Might I just forget about trying to get to speak to you by phone? At which point I begin to analyze; is it better to send a quick text or would it be better to compose an email detailing the reason I'd like to talk to you about getting together? Perhaps a note... no... not left on your porch!

Notice the time I've spent here explaining; it may approximate the wasted time it has cost me for attempting to talk to you and then it occurs to me...
I have another option, and my brain drains through my files and I attempt to retrieve the things I know about you and......
IF you may be on facebook? SO, If we're already friends I can quickly log on and send you a message! You may see it quickly or not, depending on my luck, your use of facebook, and you checking the message part at your next log-in/out, a cell phone perusal or your noticing the green dot of mine,  I might reach you "right now"and by your responding to the little 'tone' telling you I'm trying to establish contact since you are logged in currently! I decide if I should take this chance, for rejection sometimes feels real, especially if I see you quickly log off as I contact you. But if you respond, we may even get to type short sentences and phrases to each other. If this happens I'm elated, I've reached you! My one goal. AND this conversation is practically 'real'.

SO I'm considering all of the above in my life, now that it is in written language I am horrified by what it represents.  I wax introspective at this point asking what it is I Know?

And.....

What can I do about this in my life with the ragged edges of feelings I have about this?
How can I ease this frustration and alter my, and possibly your, process, to reach one another?

If healthy people ask for what they "want and need" I can practically hear you saying, "I don't have enough time to answer my phone and be tied up with a call that will surely take more time and energy from me than I feel I can give right now."
And my healthy asking self is saying, "Let me simplify my efforts to reach you; let me 'know' more about you by hearing your voice tones and inflections and we will both benefit from a human/personal interaction, even if you pick it up and say, "I can't talk", "call back tonight", or "I'll call you back later". I may say, "I need 2 minutes", you may say, "I haven't got it", or "I have 1".

At this Choice contact moment; hopefully You'll define your need right then, and I mine. Quickly, upfront, and with our genuine intuitive natures we will accomplish this.  And we may decide to go on, or to schedule a conversation time at a later date. Done. WHEW! That was easy?

 WITHOUT completing the call, the  anticipated baggage of worry and fear here must be born by both parties. And here a keen sensing style is warranted.
Respect and Value, or lack of those, for you and me will be an automatic outgrowth of our exchange.

A Remodel Project

In what appears to be a theme with me.... I feel a need to re-make myself again. Am I discouraged no! Though it will be a daunting task if I can stick it out I'll be a better me!

What is Love?

When a mother is at "final approach" of the marriage of her final daughter she really has thoughts that burst forth; fireworks practically, in an attempt to capture a few of these I write......

I still remember her sweet and surprising birth,  November 1988, and then a few months later the blessing day of Cecily.
Such Joy! I was as nervous as a bride. A true and trusted friend, Valerie, had crafted her dress for me of white linen with inserts of battenberg lace. That morning I woke up and couldn't take a deep breath, was stricken with a terrible case of reflux or gurd like I'd never before or since had.
Our house would be full this day. We would have visitors and guests to participate.
My sister Cindy had ridden, kneeling all the way, from California with a bruised tailbone. She helped assist me dressing Cecily, and calmed me with her pleasant nature. All the family helped to make it a great day and magical memory.

  It has been 24 Years and we have come full circle another celebration and ordination.
Cindy can only be reached by  telephoning. Everyone has full and crowded lives.

This time, 2013, and again I was so elated, yet the anticipation of celebration and ordinance made me crumble, without strength. I needed much support and assist, my social nature and panic under pressure practically put me under.

But Cecily and Spencer deserved better....
AND So the miracles began to appear!

Ever gracious Teri came and completed my half brain. She talked and walked with me. She loved and went with me, truly lifting my hands from hanging down. Laughing and loving and working at understanding my vision for the celebration.

 Fabulous friends Donna and Tiffani, stemming the tide and filling in ways we did not begin to anticipate!! Thinking on their feet and filling in the gaps and making everything O.K.

 Old and treasured friends, Patti and Bill just putting aside their evening to serve and do and help and work. And work.

Then there was dear and sustaining Shirley, laughing and washing and helping and visiting and giving her all.

Family to the rescue at moments inspired, and lastly positive Pam, still there helping when all else were worn to capacity, loved and stayed.

 At crunch time, along came Jennifer, the fabulous Mother of the Groom, to lovingly assist, calm and support us in dressing and comforting the Bride's and my rough edges, right up to her eyelashes and earrings. It has been a sacred experience.  One I won't soon forget!

"I will be with you" truly was made manifest in all the love we were given from the inspired friends that had the time and hours to lend and lift me in those hours of weak knees.

Love is something that grows and multiplies as it is  shared. It was a 'growing' time for me and we are Grateful beyond measure for all, and our cup runneth o'r.

Inspiration! Thanks....

My thanks to a fellow blogger that inspired me to post today, and to dig out some old still unpublished drafts written over two, almost three years ago!!
All were not lost, just benched, waiting to be thrown in when the score wasn't close/ or was?

Cellular Phones and other Cultural Phenomena

What has happened to us? I thought we were supposed to be more evolved, sensitive and kind. Informed and civilized is what we like to think we are. Well almost every time I'm with a cellular phone user I feel like I need to write a book on etiquette and use of these devices. It's hard to articulate here, in just a blog post. And I have fear of offending many of you that I know, so cowardly I go, to this written exploration to express my concerns.

My many children serve as great teaching tools, ( no I'm not calling you "tools" here.) But they, themselves, give me enough 'fodder' to fill a book. And still with no particular person in mind I begin. Hoping this will shine some light on a concern.

Do you remember,  and are you old enough to picture the 1st cellular devices? They were as large as a brick and needed to be cradled in a small bed-like rest in your car. They were awkward; YET convenient. Messages that were necessary were given. One almost needed to sit still to use them and you really couldn't multi-task with them. You wouldn't have wanted one in your purse, let alone store in a pocket or a belt anywhere! That was then.

And now they never leave us; and have become a permanent part of us, and are symbolic relics really in what we have become and/or are morphing into.

  But first my perspective, SO LONG AGO; when I was a young preteen discovering myself and my place in my world I invented a personal motto by my keen observation of the trials of the teenagers just older and ahead of me. It was this: There's no Reason for rudeness. I have felt the wisdom of this young conclusion serve me almost half a century!

Now observing us and 'cell' usage I almost can imagine the argument against my truth, from some seemly astute soul whispering, "Yes there is a Reason, a cell phone". For "it" takes precident over and above everything. This means people, places, occasions, conversations, circumstance, manners and a multiplicity of urgencies.

 It rings. For most the very least, It must be looked at. And if I can or choose to I will ask you to wait and take the call. And if not able to interrupt 'us', I will look at it. Or I may awkwardly/'innocently' sneak a peeking glance, especially when you are not that 'important' or 'scary' to me, because you have no boundaries with me.

 I will then make a judgement, decide whether to put a conversation/discussion (person) aside and "take" the call.

Waiting parties will then get a chance to wait and wonder: who I am to you, for you to be there with me but not really....(since you're taking the interruption)?. I'm thinking what is my part in this? Do I wait? Walk away? I'm also wondering when you'll get back to what we were doing? (Or end the call)? And what does it mean about you and me? Someone not even present, gets you, while I wait? You may politely excuse yourself here, but is it polite?

People of "supreme character" seem better at cell phone usage than just us "standard folks", or do they just have better manners?

If you have a large amount of courage and no ego issues ask someone you trust how it makes them feel when someone gets a call, and they take the intrusion? If you want to further risk; ask a child how they feel? Then query yourself about what you think about when someone you care for takes a call? Or doesn't? Are any of us strong enough to just let it ring? Not look? Just continue our conversation and then check our messages like we used to, whenever we get a free moment?

Mothers are Teachers; Mothers Our Teachers

Be careful young Mothers. You are laying a foundation. Lay well.

Today was a day to remember and learn and honor those that have influenced us for good over the many years of our association.

So I collect mother lessons, and really favorite mothers to emulate. Some biggies of mine are treasures of mother-good and have shown me high and holy ways to improve my skill set and become divine.

I have wondered about making mention by specific names, and most of these know about my love and admiration.

And to make a point of all of this, for my life and journal I will get personal and "let the record show..."

Favorites besides my own departed mother are Mother Teresa, and mother Teresa; Mike's Mom. Kathy Hawkins, Eleanor Olsen, Nola Hinckley, Norma Killpack and Shirley Hanosek. It's the short list I learn from and refer to. Just now looking at it something amazes me, though I never thought of it before. Follow me.

Interestingly these are 7 moms I wholly admire. Two are childless, and never married. Two are divorced and remain single. One had 1 child, one 4, one 6, one 9 and one 13. Three worked full time careers almost all the time. Three have been great volunteers. All are equally brilliant in their sphere.

My friend Kathy taught me years ago with so many children and so much testosterone at our house, that I didn't have much ego. I couldn't with my crew of critically thinking males, so I seldom compared myself, I had to be a work in progress.

The two Teresa's; one said, " If you judge, you have no time to Love. The other Teresa taught everything can be done, if you just keep at it, and kids are always worth it.

In a favorite and thankful moment from Norma I learned though she was very disgusted and irritated with me, "to get over my 'hate of Mother's Day' because it would pollute my kids, and they'd feel about me and the day, the way I felt, and no better. She scolded me that I better be about showing them that "being a Mother" was the greatest thing on Earth!"

She really dressed me down about my poor attitude and I changed instantly forever. (For like every good mother, I couldn't be the reason my kids hated what I thought of as a horrible day).

I am able to love and recognize true grace in womanhood, and the dignity of homemaking at it's best, thanks to my Dearest Aunt Nola. She ever teaches me with her vibrant nature, excellence and diligent work ethic. I want to be more like her; sensitive, listening, wise and tactful.

Eleanor teaches naturally. She loves and cares above and beyond my vision for all souls. People that happen into her life she serves and continues loving. She has staying power, develops traditions. She is a blessing to countless concourses of people. If I've ever known anyone to erect a monument to it would be her.

Shirley shows passion, DEVOTION, even though it's often unwanted or reciprocated by those in her circle. She is like the widow in the Bible, giving all she has. She will always care, share, and give something. She doesn't quit when it's hard.

I won't go on but these are Mothers extraordinaire.

Mothers are teachers and mothers are our teachers. No one ever does...,( and I see it more clearly today than ever), have such a great influence upon us. Hence we can never quit being MOTHERS!!

All That I am I owe to.......

Today I went feeling ill with a germy cold, to my church services for Mother's Day and we heard all about some great mother's from our congregation. We heard three of them emulated, really praised and adored by their children. I'm sure this was welcome to each of their surprised ears. Fathers must have helped they did so well. I enjoyed it, really, and liked learning about these great women as Mothers. Probably because I have learned so much from some of them as well.

Knowing how much I have loved the lessons I've learned from Mothers as teachers to me, I had asked my guests today to bring me a favorite lesson they'd learned from their mother or something a favorite Mother had taught them.

Everyone was quick to answer and the lessons were profound and fun to learn from yet more mothers how they have influenced memories.

It proved Instructional, showing me more things I'd missed. And I loved it and actually I worried the men here were a bit jealous of such great lessons from the opposite gender. The focus was clearly female and so happily offered by almost everyone asked. Would they ever teach such lessons?

I hope to record their offerings here chiefly for my remembrance and to glean new visions of what to work on and accomplish in the years ahead. You too can sort them out with a Warning: have as little or NO ego about this offering as possible.

It was very instructive and tactful as it needed to be for me, the listener. I hope you'll enjoy it as well. Laugh as you find out so many things you left out as well..... or could work at.

Jim: My mother taught me how to throw a great Party.

Steffanie: My mom taught me it was good to be flat chested, and wearing make-up too early would get you hooked on it and you'd naturally have wear more as you got older anyway so don't hurry it.

Quent: My street was filled with older people and my mom taught me to love them and serve them and I learned that they needed friends and were so happy to have a youngster to do little things for them, they even gave me cookies with their thanks, and sometime even quarters, I'm changed because of that.

Kai: I learned from my mom snuggling is good. ( he mentioned how he could see on the other kids faces they didn't get snuggled by their moms)

Evelyn: My mom teaches me to always be kind to others.

Jake: I received great facial recognition software from my mother, because of her I don't forget names or faces.

Amanda: My mom taught us; whatever you're given to do or put your mind to, you do your best, give it your best effort, and do the very best you can.

Jayda: I love how I am able to talk about things I've done wrong and being able to just talk with her being calm about it. At night we get to have a little talk about my day or if I'm mad about something.

Trey: My Mom has taught me to show to respect others; especially in their home's and when they come over to my house.

Chloe: She taught me to not talk to strangers.

Sadie: My mother taught me to love Jesus.

Bear: My mother taught me family scripture study is important and I see now how it strengthens me as an adult.

Julie: My mom taught me how to sew, it's a great memory for me having her teach me.

Izze: My Mom taught me, (wagging her finger) "Oh no you didn't".

David: My mom taught me to walk on people and pull toes. She provides lots of comedic material.

Dave's friend Lisa: My Mom taught me to care for myself in grooming and hygiene, I thought she was OCD, but I'm just like her now and I care about every hair.

Peter: My mom taught me "not to use up your 'Cool' too fast" and I watched her be nice to many kinds of people and I learned to do that, watching and thinking that it was a good thing to do, and so it's still something I try to do.

Bekah: My Mother taught me how important it was to fill your spare moments keeping busy helping others.

Karen, Pete's Sister-in-law: My mom had a gift to open her heart and give herself and her time away to all kinds of children she didn't even know. She blesses lives and brought great experiences and learning to them they never would have had without her.

Joel: My mother taught me to ask for what you want and need and it has served me well.

Jamie: My mother taught me,"You always have a choice."

Cecily: I learned to laugh, be a crazy person making jokes and being insane, that is a huge blessing in my life, and life is more fun that way.

Chantee', Chris's Friend: Patience. I probably have learned it the most watching her; how she looks at the situation and lets it go the way it needs to and doesn't freak out. It helps you to be able to get along better as you work on developing this talent in your life. It is such a Christlike attribute.

Chris: Always have faith things will turn out good, and keep progressing.

So now I quest toward a life seemingly somewhat more simple.....??

Continue; "Blooming Wherever I'm Planted" and ever learning.
AND

Using my uniqueness to love and bless anyone who will take it.

Meanwhile I keep this quote close, to get me through those tight 'mother' spots....

"If I had a prayer it would be this: God spare me from the desire for; love, approval or appreciation. Amen" Byron Katie

Thankful for BONES?

Well time flies when you're supineing.... for 18+ months.

Its been since November 30th 2011 that I really began my experiment with deep abiding gratitude.
So much has transpired and been taught to me from that day forward.

In my 30th September 2011  'post' I had gratitude. Then after my 'fall' the spirit whispered 'Live in Gratitude'.
And thus began a long journey of lessons. My lack of posts' in no way reflects my lessons learned.

Though I'd like to post them all, they are not all pretty and worthy of this blog and what I wish to share.

I did grow bone again, and after three surgeries was allowed to 'start' putting weight on it, and use crutches in August 2012. AND began to learn to walk again in earnest in September.

Living this life had and has so many lessons.

The journey continues as I limp through life both literally and figuratively. I can now legitimately call myself "lame". Though I hope the slang word meaning, is the "lame"-ness I fondly refer to permanently!

I have not "Thanked" near enough, nor have I accomplished adequately "Gratitude", or this and many more posts would have been here in this Blog!

I hope with heart to do better this year; as I reference the lessons life has gifted me!

Youngests

I missed blogging about it when Chris came home from Argentina. It was January 23, 2013.
I had the "gombu flu" which took most people down for 2 weeks, he returned on my 'day 10', so we grabbed a friendly airport wheelchair due to my attending weakness, and was certainly less than a welcome sight for all.

Thankfully the others really picked up the pace, and made it quite an event for family, and Collin. Chris's best childhood friend.
The whole family did their "best" and with lots of "extra's" to help Chris feel welcomed warmly. No home celebration due to germs! So Julie did a restaurant search near the airport and emailed us all.
Steff's and Pete's art skills created a huge an Argentine flag. And towed it to the 'port. And with the grandkid's faces popping in view all along the flag, thanks to Jake's ingenuity, it Became a Big Wow Welcome home from us, and thrilled me as we as greeters finished strong! No more mish. for 8 years! Unless it's us.

FINISH STRONG.....has always been my goal in any endeavor. Finish strong with callings, projects, et.al.; a personal goal of mine, to do well right to the finish.

Chris has not let us down in this. He served a great mission and has kept busy ever since! He too finished strong and hit the ground running when he got back! It seemed like several months later we finally had an evening when all three of us were home with time to sit and just relax.

I notice that some "youngests" are at a disadvantage. Think about it. They seem to often get more and give less.

What Chris will do to shake off that 'baby of the family" stuff is really up to him now. I know by watching him he will finish strong again. For that I am grateful. And "I cannot know beforehand the things that he will do".... but I trust he will do them as he did in Argentina, and have no regrets as he lives up to who he was sent to be!

Much earlier he revealed himself as a marvelous young 'man'; who when asked, let someone else come first. Cecily, came and he hence became the 'last'. (If you don't know the story, when he was about three he told us one day, "Cecily wanted to come next really bad so I let her".)

We all know what it can mean to be last.... what if we'd left him off, and decided 8 was enough? His was a valiant favor, and he will prove this in his lifetime if he chooses. And then "the last shall be first". We're excited to see the 'man' Chris, as he chooses 'that good part' and remembers who he is. I hope as all gather around him years from now he'll have the assured feeling "well done", as he finishes his course. And I hope I'm allowed to watch, and cheer!

58 Feeling Great....

 This severely needs updating......though written it was never posted. Written in Oct 2011!

it was written as follows:



We've added another grand DAUGHTER to our list of grandchildren! We are now 8/10.



 This means Faye and Barbara and Isabelle and Minnie are doing their best to get some girls in our family!

Another interesting event happened clear back on Independence Day this year all the Wilson Girls, even Cindy, were together and we "hiked" around Silver Lake. Watching young families do likewise was great fun for me, and I noticed the cute Moms and Dads.



 Conducting a social experiment I asked the Dads with girls if they were done having their families, and in their answers I realized God knows precisely what he is doing and is in on this, as well.
I was blessed to want a large family, and now it is being added to by precious souls sent from above to love in our ever expanding tribe.

Presley Ann was born Oct. 1 st, a Friday, matching both her parents' day of the week they came to earth. Friday.

She weighed 8 lbs, and 8oz. Was 21 inches long. And I WAS THERE. Amanda honored her Mother and I by letting us share the spiritual experience of the Delivery! Helping and feeling helpless? It was a great event to be sure and we enjoyed almost a party atmosphere. Epidurals certainly change the atmosphere of Labor.


We can't wait to know this child so recently sent to be the little sister in a great family!

I thank you

Wow is a good word.

Big Wow's abound.

Marriages. Travel/Trips.

Babies. Here and Arriving!

All the fun and the rest that goes with it!!!!

Empty house filling up again. Family visits are more priceless.

Right now.

Less traffic in the domain, means get more done??

Maybe, maybe not.......

Gratitude for all I have.... and don't have.

A warm wonderful companion.

Lots of kids, and new female members.

A missionary soon back.

A home.

Food and fuel to cook it.

Phones, internet and Scriptures.

Reverse the order above.

Hair and teeth? Bones.

Hey this is getting funny...

Humor.

I'm here and can endure well.

For Blessings are everywhere.

Thank You God.