Can We Talk?

Well a multitude of seemingly senseless sensibilities are encroaching my determination to not write about this topic for fear of offending those that I wish to not offend. Yet the subject bears some serious discussion, and burns within me to have "its" voice.

I'm referencing with deference, the new and chosen technologies of communication these days. The Chiefly chosen and often preferred are cell phones and other hand held devices. Emailing and texting rather than speaking, and 'worse case', a voice mail message left. Also now popular are Instant messaging or twittering instead of real "heard" (audible) voices. This seems to rule the day and rock the age-long practice of speaking. To add to this [injury] making matters worse; coding and abbreviations abound with clever acronyms that are at times vulgar and lend themselves to improper English and cliches. Many which are flippant and most of which were forbidden years ago, when slang was discouraged as a form of communication because it was thought to represent lack of education and culture.

What do all these changes mean today? Have we progressed in intelligence and are we better communicators?

Suppose this:

I want to tell you I'd like to see you or 'take a meeting' together. Since you nor I have servants or secretaries, we are forced to consider other options. I can request an interface with you by "face time"ing your phone, in which case we could actually see one another speak or make the planned exchange.
But customarily I don't do that. I can leave a text message. Which is either a bit too short in content or explanation.  Or I leave pertinent details so it goes into several messages which are split up and then must be read in reverse order to glean the meaning of the 'message'.

I can leave a 'voice mail' message on your cell phone which must be screened, listened to, sometimes several times to hear it fully, and either right "now or later" the 'call' can be automatically re-dialed. IF I reach you and you answer, we speak, but otherwise it goes into the storage of your voice mail messages. Causing you at a pausing point, not now, to listen and then decide if you wish to 'delete' this, or choose to wait. Leaving it as a gentle reminder that we haven't spoken to each other yet. (And I may leave it on... for sometimes I just like the sound of your voice, what you said, and how it sounded... so I leave it.) Otherwise if I don't delete it, it's often because I'm too busy to do it and I'll get back to it later, when I have some time.

If you don't return dial me at once, my voice mail picks up your return of my call, so I may check my voice mail messages, my message machine, and even my email inbox multiple times to see if you have gotten my message and returned my call.

What happens to me generally at this point I decide I don't really want or have time to mess with this. Did I want to see you that much? Because this 'hassle' to plan our meeting has become too great for me to worry and waste all day wondering or checking if your return to my call has gone awry or straight to my voice mail because I was 'on a call', or heaven forbid my battery or signal was weak and the call was never put through for me to know.

But upon retrieving your call much later, via 'missed call', I wonder, did you hear my message? And if you did why didn't you reach me? Or I can't hear your message! And if you didn't hear, what happened to that call, was the signal dropped? Did my message even show up on your phone? OR Will it drop now, like in the commercial, just as we are about to make a commitment to meet up?

Such are the 'joys of our desiring' the dilemmas of our day!

Might I just forget about trying to get to speak to you by phone? At which point I begin to analyze; is it better to send a quick text or would it be better to compose an email detailing the reason I'd like to talk to you about getting together? Perhaps a note... no... not left on your porch!

Notice the time I've spent here explaining; it may approximate the wasted time it has cost me for attempting to talk to you and then it occurs to me...
I have another option, and my brain drains through my files and I attempt to retrieve the things I know about you and......
IF you may be on facebook? SO, If we're already friends I can quickly log on and send you a message! You may see it quickly or not, depending on my luck, your use of facebook, and you checking the message part at your next log-in/out, a cell phone perusal or your noticing the green dot of mine,  I might reach you "right now"and by your responding to the little 'tone' telling you I'm trying to establish contact since you are logged in currently! I decide if I should take this chance, for rejection sometimes feels real, especially if I see you quickly log off as I contact you. But if you respond, we may even get to type short sentences and phrases to each other. If this happens I'm elated, I've reached you! My one goal. AND this conversation is practically 'real'.

SO I'm considering all of the above in my life, now that it is in written language I am horrified by what it represents.  I wax introspective at this point asking what it is I Know?

And.....

What can I do about this in my life with the ragged edges of feelings I have about this?
How can I ease this frustration and alter my, and possibly your, process, to reach one another?

If healthy people ask for what they "want and need" I can practically hear you saying, "I don't have enough time to answer my phone and be tied up with a call that will surely take more time and energy from me than I feel I can give right now."
And my healthy asking self is saying, "Let me simplify my efforts to reach you; let me 'know' more about you by hearing your voice tones and inflections and we will both benefit from a human/personal interaction, even if you pick it up and say, "I can't talk", "call back tonight", or "I'll call you back later". I may say, "I need 2 minutes", you may say, "I haven't got it", or "I have 1".

At this Choice contact moment; hopefully You'll define your need right then, and I mine. Quickly, upfront, and with our genuine intuitive natures we will accomplish this.  And we may decide to go on, or to schedule a conversation time at a later date. Done. WHEW! That was easy?

 WITHOUT completing the call, the  anticipated baggage of worry and fear here must be born by both parties. And here a keen sensing style is warranted.
Respect and Value, or lack of those, for you and me will be an automatic outgrowth of our exchange.