A Remodel Project

In what appears to be a theme with me.... I feel a need to re-make myself again. Am I discouraged no! Though it will be a daunting task if I can stick it out I'll be a better me!

What is Love?

When a mother is at "final approach" of the marriage of her final daughter she really has thoughts that burst forth; fireworks practically, in an attempt to capture a few of these I write......

I still remember her sweet and surprising birth,  November 1988, and then a few months later the blessing day of Cecily.
Such Joy! I was as nervous as a bride. A true and trusted friend, Valerie, had crafted her dress for me of white linen with inserts of battenberg lace. That morning I woke up and couldn't take a deep breath, was stricken with a terrible case of reflux or gurd like I'd never before or since had.
Our house would be full this day. We would have visitors and guests to participate.
My sister Cindy had ridden, kneeling all the way, from California with a bruised tailbone. She helped assist me dressing Cecily, and calmed me with her pleasant nature. All the family helped to make it a great day and magical memory.

  It has been 24 Years and we have come full circle another celebration and ordination.
Cindy can only be reached by  telephoning. Everyone has full and crowded lives.

This time, 2013, and again I was so elated, yet the anticipation of celebration and ordinance made me crumble, without strength. I needed much support and assist, my social nature and panic under pressure practically put me under.

But Cecily and Spencer deserved better....
AND So the miracles began to appear!

Ever gracious Teri came and completed my half brain. She talked and walked with me. She loved and went with me, truly lifting my hands from hanging down. Laughing and loving and working at understanding my vision for the celebration.

 Fabulous friends Donna and Tiffani, stemming the tide and filling in ways we did not begin to anticipate!! Thinking on their feet and filling in the gaps and making everything O.K.

 Old and treasured friends, Patti and Bill just putting aside their evening to serve and do and help and work. And work.

Then there was dear and sustaining Shirley, laughing and washing and helping and visiting and giving her all.

Family to the rescue at moments inspired, and lastly positive Pam, still there helping when all else were worn to capacity, loved and stayed.

 At crunch time, along came Jennifer, the fabulous Mother of the Groom, to lovingly assist, calm and support us in dressing and comforting the Bride's and my rough edges, right up to her eyelashes and earrings. It has been a sacred experience.  One I won't soon forget!

"I will be with you" truly was made manifest in all the love we were given from the inspired friends that had the time and hours to lend and lift me in those hours of weak knees.

Love is something that grows and multiplies as it is  shared. It was a 'growing' time for me and we are Grateful beyond measure for all, and our cup runneth o'r.

Inspiration! Thanks....

My thanks to a fellow blogger that inspired me to post today, and to dig out some old still unpublished drafts written over two, almost three years ago!!
All were not lost, just benched, waiting to be thrown in when the score wasn't close/ or was?

Cellular Phones and other Cultural Phenomena

What has happened to us? I thought we were supposed to be more evolved, sensitive and kind. Informed and civilized is what we like to think we are. Well almost every time I'm with a cellular phone user I feel like I need to write a book on etiquette and use of these devices. It's hard to articulate here, in just a blog post. And I have fear of offending many of you that I know, so cowardly I go, to this written exploration to express my concerns.

My many children serve as great teaching tools, ( no I'm not calling you "tools" here.) But they, themselves, give me enough 'fodder' to fill a book. And still with no particular person in mind I begin. Hoping this will shine some light on a concern.

Do you remember,  and are you old enough to picture the 1st cellular devices? They were as large as a brick and needed to be cradled in a small bed-like rest in your car. They were awkward; YET convenient. Messages that were necessary were given. One almost needed to sit still to use them and you really couldn't multi-task with them. You wouldn't have wanted one in your purse, let alone store in a pocket or a belt anywhere! That was then.

And now they never leave us; and have become a permanent part of us, and are symbolic relics really in what we have become and/or are morphing into.

  But first my perspective, SO LONG AGO; when I was a young preteen discovering myself and my place in my world I invented a personal motto by my keen observation of the trials of the teenagers just older and ahead of me. It was this: There's no Reason for rudeness. I have felt the wisdom of this young conclusion serve me almost half a century!

Now observing us and 'cell' usage I almost can imagine the argument against my truth, from some seemly astute soul whispering, "Yes there is a Reason, a cell phone". For "it" takes precident over and above everything. This means people, places, occasions, conversations, circumstance, manners and a multiplicity of urgencies.

 It rings. For most the very least, It must be looked at. And if I can or choose to I will ask you to wait and take the call. And if not able to interrupt 'us', I will look at it. Or I may awkwardly/'innocently' sneak a peeking glance, especially when you are not that 'important' or 'scary' to me, because you have no boundaries with me.

 I will then make a judgement, decide whether to put a conversation/discussion (person) aside and "take" the call.

Waiting parties will then get a chance to wait and wonder: who I am to you, for you to be there with me but not really....(since you're taking the interruption)?. I'm thinking what is my part in this? Do I wait? Walk away? I'm also wondering when you'll get back to what we were doing? (Or end the call)? And what does it mean about you and me? Someone not even present, gets you, while I wait? You may politely excuse yourself here, but is it polite?

People of "supreme character" seem better at cell phone usage than just us "standard folks", or do they just have better manners?

If you have a large amount of courage and no ego issues ask someone you trust how it makes them feel when someone gets a call, and they take the intrusion? If you want to further risk; ask a child how they feel? Then query yourself about what you think about when someone you care for takes a call? Or doesn't? Are any of us strong enough to just let it ring? Not look? Just continue our conversation and then check our messages like we used to, whenever we get a free moment?

Mothers are Teachers; Mothers Our Teachers

Be careful young Mothers. You are laying a foundation. Lay well.

Today was a day to remember and learn and honor those that have influenced us for good over the many years of our association.

So I collect mother lessons, and really favorite mothers to emulate. Some biggies of mine are treasures of mother-good and have shown me high and holy ways to improve my skill set and become divine.

I have wondered about making mention by specific names, and most of these know about my love and admiration.

And to make a point of all of this, for my life and journal I will get personal and "let the record show..."

Favorites besides my own departed mother are Mother Teresa, and mother Teresa; Mike's Mom. Kathy Hawkins, Eleanor Olsen, Nola Hinckley, Norma Killpack and Shirley Hanosek. It's the short list I learn from and refer to. Just now looking at it something amazes me, though I never thought of it before. Follow me.

Interestingly these are 7 moms I wholly admire. Two are childless, and never married. Two are divorced and remain single. One had 1 child, one 4, one 6, one 9 and one 13. Three worked full time careers almost all the time. Three have been great volunteers. All are equally brilliant in their sphere.

My friend Kathy taught me years ago with so many children and so much testosterone at our house, that I didn't have much ego. I couldn't with my crew of critically thinking males, so I seldom compared myself, I had to be a work in progress.

The two Teresa's; one said, " If you judge, you have no time to Love. The other Teresa taught everything can be done, if you just keep at it, and kids are always worth it.

In a favorite and thankful moment from Norma I learned though she was very disgusted and irritated with me, "to get over my 'hate of Mother's Day' because it would pollute my kids, and they'd feel about me and the day, the way I felt, and no better. She scolded me that I better be about showing them that "being a Mother" was the greatest thing on Earth!"

She really dressed me down about my poor attitude and I changed instantly forever. (For like every good mother, I couldn't be the reason my kids hated what I thought of as a horrible day).

I am able to love and recognize true grace in womanhood, and the dignity of homemaking at it's best, thanks to my Dearest Aunt Nola. She ever teaches me with her vibrant nature, excellence and diligent work ethic. I want to be more like her; sensitive, listening, wise and tactful.

Eleanor teaches naturally. She loves and cares above and beyond my vision for all souls. People that happen into her life she serves and continues loving. She has staying power, develops traditions. She is a blessing to countless concourses of people. If I've ever known anyone to erect a monument to it would be her.

Shirley shows passion, DEVOTION, even though it's often unwanted or reciprocated by those in her circle. She is like the widow in the Bible, giving all she has. She will always care, share, and give something. She doesn't quit when it's hard.

I won't go on but these are Mothers extraordinaire.

Mothers are teachers and mothers are our teachers. No one ever does...,( and I see it more clearly today than ever), have such a great influence upon us. Hence we can never quit being MOTHERS!!

All That I am I owe to.......

Today I went feeling ill with a germy cold, to my church services for Mother's Day and we heard all about some great mother's from our congregation. We heard three of them emulated, really praised and adored by their children. I'm sure this was welcome to each of their surprised ears. Fathers must have helped they did so well. I enjoyed it, really, and liked learning about these great women as Mothers. Probably because I have learned so much from some of them as well.

Knowing how much I have loved the lessons I've learned from Mothers as teachers to me, I had asked my guests today to bring me a favorite lesson they'd learned from their mother or something a favorite Mother had taught them.

Everyone was quick to answer and the lessons were profound and fun to learn from yet more mothers how they have influenced memories.

It proved Instructional, showing me more things I'd missed. And I loved it and actually I worried the men here were a bit jealous of such great lessons from the opposite gender. The focus was clearly female and so happily offered by almost everyone asked. Would they ever teach such lessons?

I hope to record their offerings here chiefly for my remembrance and to glean new visions of what to work on and accomplish in the years ahead. You too can sort them out with a Warning: have as little or NO ego about this offering as possible.

It was very instructive and tactful as it needed to be for me, the listener. I hope you'll enjoy it as well. Laugh as you find out so many things you left out as well..... or could work at.

Jim: My mother taught me how to throw a great Party.

Steffanie: My mom taught me it was good to be flat chested, and wearing make-up too early would get you hooked on it and you'd naturally have wear more as you got older anyway so don't hurry it.

Quent: My street was filled with older people and my mom taught me to love them and serve them and I learned that they needed friends and were so happy to have a youngster to do little things for them, they even gave me cookies with their thanks, and sometime even quarters, I'm changed because of that.

Kai: I learned from my mom snuggling is good. ( he mentioned how he could see on the other kids faces they didn't get snuggled by their moms)

Evelyn: My mom teaches me to always be kind to others.

Jake: I received great facial recognition software from my mother, because of her I don't forget names or faces.

Amanda: My mom taught us; whatever you're given to do or put your mind to, you do your best, give it your best effort, and do the very best you can.

Jayda: I love how I am able to talk about things I've done wrong and being able to just talk with her being calm about it. At night we get to have a little talk about my day or if I'm mad about something.

Trey: My Mom has taught me to show to respect others; especially in their home's and when they come over to my house.

Chloe: She taught me to not talk to strangers.

Sadie: My mother taught me to love Jesus.

Bear: My mother taught me family scripture study is important and I see now how it strengthens me as an adult.

Julie: My mom taught me how to sew, it's a great memory for me having her teach me.

Izze: My Mom taught me, (wagging her finger) "Oh no you didn't".

David: My mom taught me to walk on people and pull toes. She provides lots of comedic material.

Dave's friend Lisa: My Mom taught me to care for myself in grooming and hygiene, I thought she was OCD, but I'm just like her now and I care about every hair.

Peter: My mom taught me "not to use up your 'Cool' too fast" and I watched her be nice to many kinds of people and I learned to do that, watching and thinking that it was a good thing to do, and so it's still something I try to do.

Bekah: My Mother taught me how important it was to fill your spare moments keeping busy helping others.

Karen, Pete's Sister-in-law: My mom had a gift to open her heart and give herself and her time away to all kinds of children she didn't even know. She blesses lives and brought great experiences and learning to them they never would have had without her.

Joel: My mother taught me to ask for what you want and need and it has served me well.

Jamie: My mother taught me,"You always have a choice."

Cecily: I learned to laugh, be a crazy person making jokes and being insane, that is a huge blessing in my life, and life is more fun that way.

Chantee', Chris's Friend: Patience. I probably have learned it the most watching her; how she looks at the situation and lets it go the way it needs to and doesn't freak out. It helps you to be able to get along better as you work on developing this talent in your life. It is such a Christlike attribute.

Chris: Always have faith things will turn out good, and keep progressing.

So now I quest toward a life seemingly somewhat more simple.....??

Continue; "Blooming Wherever I'm Planted" and ever learning.
AND

Using my uniqueness to love and bless anyone who will take it.

Meanwhile I keep this quote close, to get me through those tight 'mother' spots....

"If I had a prayer it would be this: God spare me from the desire for; love, approval or appreciation. Amen" Byron Katie

Thankful for BONES?

Well time flies when you're supineing.... for 18+ months.

Its been since November 30th 2011 that I really began my experiment with deep abiding gratitude.
So much has transpired and been taught to me from that day forward.

In my 30th September 2011  'post' I had gratitude. Then after my 'fall' the spirit whispered 'Live in Gratitude'.
And thus began a long journey of lessons. My lack of posts' in no way reflects my lessons learned.

Though I'd like to post them all, they are not all pretty and worthy of this blog and what I wish to share.

I did grow bone again, and after three surgeries was allowed to 'start' putting weight on it, and use crutches in August 2012. AND began to learn to walk again in earnest in September.

Living this life had and has so many lessons.

The journey continues as I limp through life both literally and figuratively. I can now legitimately call myself "lame". Though I hope the slang word meaning, is the "lame"-ness I fondly refer to permanently!

I have not "Thanked" near enough, nor have I accomplished adequately "Gratitude", or this and many more posts would have been here in this Blog!

I hope with heart to do better this year; as I reference the lessons life has gifted me!

Youngests

I missed blogging about it when Chris came home from Argentina. It was January 23, 2013.
I had the "gombu flu" which took most people down for 2 weeks, he returned on my 'day 10', so we grabbed a friendly airport wheelchair due to my attending weakness, and was certainly less than a welcome sight for all.

Thankfully the others really picked up the pace, and made it quite an event for family, and Collin. Chris's best childhood friend.
The whole family did their "best" and with lots of "extra's" to help Chris feel welcomed warmly. No home celebration due to germs! So Julie did a restaurant search near the airport and emailed us all.
Steff's and Pete's art skills created a huge an Argentine flag. And towed it to the 'port. And with the grandkid's faces popping in view all along the flag, thanks to Jake's ingenuity, it Became a Big Wow Welcome home from us, and thrilled me as we as greeters finished strong! No more mish. for 8 years! Unless it's us.

FINISH STRONG.....has always been my goal in any endeavor. Finish strong with callings, projects, et.al.; a personal goal of mine, to do well right to the finish.

Chris has not let us down in this. He served a great mission and has kept busy ever since! He too finished strong and hit the ground running when he got back! It seemed like several months later we finally had an evening when all three of us were home with time to sit and just relax.

I notice that some "youngests" are at a disadvantage. Think about it. They seem to often get more and give less.

What Chris will do to shake off that 'baby of the family" stuff is really up to him now. I know by watching him he will finish strong again. For that I am grateful. And "I cannot know beforehand the things that he will do".... but I trust he will do them as he did in Argentina, and have no regrets as he lives up to who he was sent to be!

Much earlier he revealed himself as a marvelous young 'man'; who when asked, let someone else come first. Cecily, came and he hence became the 'last'. (If you don't know the story, when he was about three he told us one day, "Cecily wanted to come next really bad so I let her".)

We all know what it can mean to be last.... what if we'd left him off, and decided 8 was enough? His was a valiant favor, and he will prove this in his lifetime if he chooses. And then "the last shall be first". We're excited to see the 'man' Chris, as he chooses 'that good part' and remembers who he is. I hope as all gather around him years from now he'll have the assured feeling "well done", as he finishes his course. And I hope I'm allowed to watch, and cheer!